Tell Me Your Story: Of Coming Home

There are adoption milestones that parents never forget. For some, it’s the day they decided to adopt. For others it’s the day they first saw their child. And then there is the milestone all adoptive parents never forget – the day they brought their child home.

Paula clearly remembers the days leading up to her daughter’s homecoming. Paula and her husband Gregg flew to Romania to meet their daughter for the first time. At the time, Amanda, who was then known as Brindusa, was living in an orphanage. For a week, the couple visited the orphanage, bringing gifts each day. Separated by language, they tried to bring things Amanda would like. One day, it was a balloon. Another day, it was an orange. Each gift was an attempt to build a bridge between strangers who would soon be family.

By the end of the week, it was time to go home. The orphanage caretakers helped change Amanda into a purple sweat suit that Paula had brought for the trip. Amanda would be turning three in a month, but she was about to take the biggest trip of her life. Paula describes leaving the orphanage:

“Amanda walked out the door from the only place she had ever lived, away from the people that had cared for her. She had never been outside before, but to our surprise, she never looked back.She was very happy to go with us although we didn’t speak the same language; she seemed to know she was ours.”

The flight was long, but on December 18th, Amanda, Paula, and Gregg finally made it back home and were greeted at the airport by over 25 close friends and family members. Amanda suddenly had a new family, including two older brothers. As with any new situation, there was a period of adjustment. Amanda had never slept alone, and to make things easier, the entire family all slept in her room. As the nights went on, Amanda became more comfortable in her new room, and one by one each family member went back to his or her own bed.

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Paula & Amanda on Amanda’s last day of high school.

Acknowledging adoption anniversaries is important, and in the years that followed, Paula and her family celebrated Amanda’s special day by watching the DVD of her homecoming. The family would gather around the television and watch the small crowd who gathered to show their love and excitement to welcome Amanda into the family. As Amanda grew up, the family continued to recognize Amanda’s Homecoming Day, but naturally more attention was shifted to Amanda’s birthday. Today Amanda is 18, and she is getting ready to go to college in the fall. Although she is excited to go to college, she is aware of how difficult it will be to leave her parents.

“When I go to college I’ll definitely miss my parents, and I believe I will have a closer relationship. I went to sleep away camp for a few years when I was younger. I missed my mom and dad so much that I was actually excited to see them. It’ll be hard being apart months at a time. To this day I always sit back and recognize how lucky I was to be adopted by my family.”

As Paula gets ready to send her only daughter off to college, she is reminded of how they first met. As her daughter packs up her room, Paula will always remember her as the little girl in the purple sweat suit. As Amanda takes a leap into adulthood, her mother will remember how willingly Amanda took her hand and trusted her unconditionally. And although Amanda expresses how lucky she is to be adopted, Paula would probably say she is the lucky one.

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